Good thoughts and questions here. I really like Natalie Grant’s question in “Held”: “If hope is born of suffering, if this is only the beginning, can we not wait for one hour, watching for our Savior?”

I think the real question is whether we actually believe that this life is only the beginning. If we could somehow posture ourselves firmly in that perspective, it would be natural to be like Jesus, I suppose.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what my purpose is, not only on this planet, but in eternity. So many times I look back on instances in my life and wonder why I didn’t go all out, or why I missed so many opportunities, or how I let so many good intentions fall to the ground. I hope that after I’ve vacated this body, I will not be thinking the same thing.

Thank you for the encouragement to do better, and I hope you are encouraged yourself!

As you said, our faith gives us clear guidance on some choices regarding lifestyles, prohibitions, and attitudes. Other choices, often to our dismay, are left to us for pondering and, eventually, decision.

I count it among God’s more ingenious moves that he gave us both the desire to follow that which is Greater than ourselves, and also the bent for adventure, exploration, and intention.

So often, I have despised those latter gifts, and I wonder why this might be. I like to believe that I sacrifice them upon the altar of God’s will. Perhaps, though, my true motive is fear and distrust. I fear that I won’t make the best of all possible wagers (are not all choices wagers?), and distrust God to see me through if I wander through the shadow of the valley. Perhaps I even hope that if I make the right decisions, God will never call me to pass through that shadow.

The interesting thing about time (one of the dimensions into which God has placed us) is that it does not permit us to delay our bets. Each moment, a nuanced hand is dealt and we cannot fold. Will we go left or right? Fast or slow? Stop or go? All options are open except not to choose.

We quest to be transformed into the image of God, but we are no automatons. We desire to be led by the Holy Spirit, but we do not want to relinquish involvement in the encounter with the Holy One. He calls us to love and be loved as daughters and sons, servants and friends; shall we abandon that call to be mere actors instead?

At the end of the day, it is inside that tension where we strain and struggle. The Master has left us tasks, but not a script. One day I hope to learn how to enjoy the freedom and privilege of being my Father’s son, never abandoning my work as His servant. My goal (I have failed miserably and often) is to seek His permission, but never stand idle.